loves of my life

"Gha I die"

The no strings attached situation is not clarified. I'll wait a while.. For now I am just happy. I had my first day off today after my marathon! Woooopie! I had a great wake-up and an amazing lunch with the girls here in Höllviken. The day got even better when I had dinner with my dad at a cute restaurant. Perfect day off.

Two tumbs up

And sometimes you get just what you ask for...

Let's start over, shall we?

I am so happy working, its exhausting yes but its also being social and doing something. I have got plans now for midsummer, going with Charlotte and her friends to the archipelago for 2 nights. Just what I need. I wonder if it's ok not to drink. I really don't feel like it. Or if this crowd is like all other, not really tolerant with non-drinkers.

I wanna meet someone cute for this summer. A summer fling. No strings attached.

the bravest thing you can do?

I am working. Busy like crazy. Lovin' n hating it. Lazy ass people at work but I am kicking ass.

A friend called braking up the bravest thing you can do. I agree. I just feel so retarded. Aren't relationships for me? Why cant I settle for less? Maybe no one will ever be a good enough fit for me? Maybe I have never been really in love. Like breathtaking, consuming, wanna die for love...

Why...

If this was the right choice then why am I so sad now when I am at home? I was fine when I was at the dinner, surrounded by friends and love. Now I only have Felix, the smell of the lovely flowers he sent me and the darkness. It doesn't help that he removed his album of us and changed his profile pic on FB. Fuck this. I am so happy I am gonna work, I need to not think about this.

Quitter?

Was it a mistake? Did I give up to easily? Could this have been it? Fuck it. I don't believe that differences can be that beautiful. But still I can't help the tiny voice in my head telling me on repeat that I am a quitter. Can this be true? Am I a quitter when it comes to relationships?

I am going to work now.. 15 days in a row. At least I will be busy.